helpmewithmygirlproblems

You say impressive, I already know it.

Hey guys! I’m still alive. Please e-mail me some girl problems! Or even just suggestions for the blog. Right now, I’m working on some product reviews I think might be helpful. Hopefully, I’ll be posting more soon! Today’s caller wishes to remain anonymous, so please read his entire story in the voice of Stephen Hawking.

I met a girl and we seemed to hit it off pretty well almost right away. She’s a friend of my house mate and she’s from a town about an 40mins away and she has no car. As such when she came over to see him, she came by train and she decided to stay over on our couch rather than travel home. We end up in this conversation about this guy she used to work with that she likes and how she wishes she had a bf like all her friends and how she’s bored on her own etc.

The following morning me and her chat again from 8am until about mid day before I walked her to the train station. She offered me her number and I asked if she wanted to come to a gig the following week and she said she would like to. She claims that she’s not sure why she was talking about the other guy so much as she doesn’t really even like him.

Next week rolls round (so this is Last Friday now). She turns up and me, her and my house mate head to the gig. We get on well again and discover we have a fair few things in common – she suggests we go home and watch Aliens (holy fucking shit, I love that movie). It’s 1am when we get in and we are both pretty drunk.

We watch the film on the sofa and cuddle up under a blanket. The film ends at 4am, my house mate goes to bed and then so do we. Aside from a 5 year relationship which ended about 8 months ago I’ve only been with a couple of girls – none since – and during that relationship she had a coil thing that meant that I didn’t have to use condoms. So basically this was the first time I’d used one in about 6 years. There is not a lot sexy about failing to put on a condom, half drunk at 4am and it takes a minute at which point I’m embarresed and feel the mood slipping. We have sex and it goes on and on and in the end I am completely exhausted and can’t finish, it feels totally weird with the condom. Epic fail. God damn. This has never happened to me before…

The next morning I wake up at 9am and she’s not in bed. I go for a glass of water and she’s sleeping on the sofa. I leave her there. My house mate wakes up and we sit around and talk some more. He goes out and we carry on talking. I cook her dinner and we go to blockbuster to rent yet another film – both a little to hung over to go out to a bar or whatever.

After the film I say, in a jokey manner “I suppose we should go on a date or something” and instantly the mood changes and she kinda goes “hmmmm” then she says she’s sorry and she’s sure that wasn’t what I wanted to hear. She says that she’s not really looking for a relationship and would like to just be friends – despite her saying just last week that she did! We talk for another hour or so during which time things are kinda flirty again but she says “I’m looking for someone really assertive”, my housemate comes home about 11pm drunk and sits right in between us. I go to bed, she sleeps on the couch again.

Next morning we have breakfast and she heads home.
6pm:she text’s me saying “don’t tell marc (my house mate, her friend) about what happened, I don’t want him telling anyone else”. I didn’t get the message until about 5 hours later – so I obviously don’t reply
6:30pm she texts my house mate saying “I don’t know if he’s said what happened, but please don’t tell anyone else, I don’t want it to damage my reputation”
10pm she texts me again saying “office space is on film 4, bet you wish you had TV now! x”

I don’t reply to either text and neither does my house mate.

I spoke to her on MSN yesterday and suggested we watch the Grudge round at my place (we’d talked about it before and she said she hadn’t seen it) and she said yeah, but it was pretty non-committal on both sides.

I seem to have really fallen for her but I don’t know where I stand or if it’s salvageable. I wish I could explain to her why the sex was terrible, but I kinda hope she’s not shallow enough to let that get in the way.. I dunno. I’m going away for 5 days tomorrow – I figured I’d give her some space and not talk to her til I get back, but I’m not sure.

Lost cause? Can I pull some romantic gesture out of my ass and save the day?

XOXO,

The fucking Quake master.

This is a weird situation. I had to read it a couple of times because the first time I was like “oh shit, did she fuck the housemate too?” I’m not entirely sure why she’s so keen on making sure no one tells anyone what happened, that seems a bit suspicious to me.

Anyway, I’d say just ride it out (that means wait and see what happens, not… any other connotation of riding). I figure you’re already on your 5 days away from town by now, but I’d say just avoid initiating contact during that time. If she texts or calls, don’t ignore her, but don’t be the initiator. It sounds like she’s not exactly comfortable with what happened, so I’d give her some time to get over that.

If you are really truly interested and if her attitude readjusts by the time you talk to her again, I think you CAN pull a romantic gesture out of your ass and save the day. But be aware of how she’s handling this situation before you decide whether or not you’re really going to want a relationship with this chick. Instead of talking to you about something that’s making her feel uncomfortable, she’s essentially sweeping it under the rug. Not really a rock solid foundation for the start of a new relationship. And you have to be aware of the fact that something might have happened to make her feel like you are no longer relationship material. It sucks, but most chicks have a switch in their head, and once some random event turns off the romantic attraction, it’s incredibly difficult to turn it back on again. So my advice is to ride it out. It seems like you’re having fun with her even without the sexy stuff, so worst comes to worst you’ve got a cool new friend out of it. Take it slow until it seems like she’s taking whatever wall down that she’s suddenly thrown up. Hopefully then things will just come naturally.

Get it? Come? Naturally? I am so so sorry. That was horrible. I quit.