helpmewithmygirlproblems

22 Orgasms (And One For Good Luck)

In celebration of my birthday on Wednesday (BUY ME PRESENTS), I am going to talk about one of my favorite things. This post is probably the most explicit post I’ve written so far. I don’t really know how to describe cumming in politically correct terminology. If that offends you, read it anyway, masturbate, cry in your guilty pleasure, then masturbate again with your guilty sin tears.

I told someone I was writing a post about female orgasms and they told me that I couldn’t do that because female orgasms are a myth and I might as well write about bigfoot and how awesome he is in bed because he is the only thing in the world that can make females orgasm because he is fake and so are… *sigh*

The female orgasm is no myth. And guess what? Neither are multiple orgasms. I know because I’ve been having them almost as long as I can remember masturbating.

This article is mostly aimed at females who are looking for more. Guys looking to give your girlfriends more… I’m sorry but this probably isn’t going to do much for you, unless you want to send your girlfriend the link and have her read it over. Multiples are rarely something that are given to you. They’re something you learn how to achieve.

So, my first tip is masturbation. Masturbation. Masturbation. If you can learn how to give yourself multiples, you can learn how to have them with your partner. It’s a lot easier to figure out things about your body by yourself, believe it or not… YOU know when you are close, YOU know when you need to touch more or less, YOU know how close you are to the edge to make yourself hang there.

After that… this gets pretty subjective, naturally. I know my body and I know what works for me. Step number one helps you figure out what works for you, but from here on out I’ll mostly be discussing my own methods to give you something to go off of, but YMMV.

Most women are capable of having different types of orgasms. I’ve managed three very different feelings: the clitoral orgasm, the G-Spot orgasm, and the combined orgasm. Most of my masturbation is just clitoral and this is how I’ve managed to train myself to pretty much expect multiples. If you’ve never had a clitoral orgasm, I guess that’s step number one… different women are different, I’ve heard some girls can get off just by humping a pillow which would be kinda neat, but personally I just apply index+middle fingers and rub back and forth. There’s an angle that works for me… figure out what works for you and repeat ad orgasm. The trick to multiples for me is letting the orgasm happen, but not letting my body come all the way back down from the orgasmic state. When it happens, I kind of stop and do it a bit more gently… then I start up again. For a second or two it feels a little like pain, but if I keep going I end up building up completely again. It takes practice, but I can now do this for about five minutes… pretty much five whole minutes of pre-orgasm or orgasm, both of which feel awesome. So yeah, that’s my main trick for multiple clitoral orgasms… wait until you’ve had an orgasm to start again, but don’t let your body come completely off of that climax high before you start again.

Another trick involves PC muscles. The best way I’ve found to figure out how to control them are by stopping your flow when you’re peeing. By strengthening them and then flexing them during and post orgasm, you can create completely new feelings that make it a bit easier to recover from one orgasm and go into another… if you can’t figure out how to have a second one, try having the first normally then the second with your PC muscles completely flexed. Once you have control over them, they can at least help you figure out if certain things feel better. They also really help to have vaginal orgasms, but that’s completely different. They also really help to blow a dudes mind when you flex them when you’re barely moving. Again. Totally different.

I don’t really know what else to say. It’s second nature to me to expect to have more than one orgasm at a time now. Sure one is fine. But I know what my body is capable of. I’m sure some women are not capable of the same things, but my main advice is probably just to try and try again. Masturbating isn’t bad, it’s the fastest way to figure out how to make yourself feel good. And I’ve said this many times before, it isn’t the responsibility of a man to figure out how you orgasm. If you don’t want to take the steps to figure it out yourself, don’t be surprised when no one else knows how the fuck your body works either.

That got kinda violent sounding, but it’s really a sore spot for me. I hate women who complain that they don’t have orgasms during sex with their boyfriend, then when I ask if they masturbate they say “No, I never have”. Um. What? If I was a dude and my girlfriend couldn’t have an orgasm but she didn’t want to figure out how to make me give her one, then I’d fuck her without regard to her pleasure, because obviously it doesn’t mean much to her. Actually, I’d probably dump her, but that’s because I’m a bit of an idealist and I don’t think I could get along very well with someone who didn’t put at least some value on sexual pleasure.

Anyway. I guess that’s it for my scant advice and raving criticisms of many of my gender. Specific questions can be e-mailed to helpmewithmygirlproblems@laurgasms.com or posted in the comments.

Happy birthday to me!

-laurgasms

Easy button.

why are girls so crazy in the head lol (srsly why)

-sexninja!!!

Hormones, men, and the occasional disconnect from reality.

First Comment Solicitation Post!

Hi everyone! Two posts in one day, scary.

This is where I encourage everyone to click that little “Register” or “Login” button on the right of your screen, and if you are already Registered and Logged-In, this is where I encourage you to contribute for future content!

I’m looking for sex positions. Your favorite. The tried and true, why you like them, maybe some weird ones that you’ve come to really enjoy. Post them here for a future feature!

Fat and frumpy!

I’m working on a post about multiple orgasms (for men AND women!) but my test subject is apparently too happy with his single orgasm to help me with research. Pfft. Amateur.

Until then, you get this happy little filler post with a question from IRC.

here is a question for your site lauren, how do you make a girl feel special and sexy if she is feeling fat and frumpy?
-shavenewok

Girls are weird. We think into things a lot, things that don’t need to be thought into. Oftentimes, this includes our looks or our bodies. You might think we are gorgeous without makeup, we might feel like monsters. Self confidence is weird, too.

There might not be a way for her to feel special and every little thing you say might be the wrong thing no matter what it is. A huge part of dealing with this is going to come from learning about exactly what is making her feel that way… and actually, she will deal better with it if she figures out why she’s feeling down. If this is a long-term issue or reoccurs quite often, it’s probably something you need to talk to her about; the more she complains about her own faults, the more often you’re probably going to notice them. I don’t understand why women do this. Anyway, my first point is this… personal insecurities can be relationship poison. Don’t let them be, and don’t let her turn them into a deal-breaker. You might want to try to find a way to get you both to the root of the issue before you just try to glaze over the problem with some sweet gestures. But, sweet gestures are surely a short-term remedy!

That said, one pretty safe gesture would be to compliment something about her that is really unique. A facial feature, a body part. Letting her know that you appreciate something that is a defining feature of her is a good way to point out that you notice what sets her apart from other girls. Be careful, though… if you stick with the same thing to compliment, it kind of loses it’s specialness. Pick something that you don’t usually notice or comment on. She’ll notice the thought.

Another point is that you might want to do what you can to make sure she gets plentiful and GOOD sleep. A good night sleep is pretty crucial to feeling happy and beautiful. We’ve all heard that good sleep will improve mood; it only makes sense that it also helps to combat depression and increase self assurance. Take some steps to help relax her; maybe a relaxing massage or a hot bath with some sort of relaxing scented bath salts. And of course… moderate exercise does help with mood, body image, and sleep. You probably don’t want to mention it when she’s feeling down about herself, but there are creative ways to get her involved in exercise; invite her on a kayaking trip during the day, then take her home for that massage and bath. She’ll sleep like a baby and feel fantastic in the morning!

Basically, she just needs to know that you appreciate her for who she is. As long as it isn’t a consistently reoccurring state of mind, it’s pretty normal to feel “frumpy” every now and then. Your job is to help her to realize that her insecurities with herself have nothing to do with your feelings for her. Getting her mind off of it or helping her out of the mood is secondary to finding out exactly why she feels the way she does and trying to get her on a path to making HERSELF feel good.

Comments are appreciated, and I’m in need of some more e-mails!! helpmewithmygirlproblems@laurgasms.com

-gasms

30-Year Old Virgin

I have had such an awful week at work that I have been severely neglecting this blog. It will not happen again. Here is one of the first e-mails I received.

Im in my late 20s getting scarily close to 30. im not fat, im not horribly disfigured or crippled, and my chick friends say im not ugly (a few have even had minor crushes on me in the past that i didnt find out about until much later). Nor am I ATTN. Unfortuanately I was also really really shy in high school, and into college, so I’m way behind in the whole girls game…ie, I didn’t even kiss a girl until i was in college. Anyway, the problem of course is that I’m fast approaching 30 and still lacking the sex0r (not even once, much to my chagrin). So I’m talking to this one girl now, and she has made veiled comments that she’d be willing to sex0r me, so FINALLY I might be able to shake this burden for once — except that presents a problem: Do I tell her I still have the v-badge and risk scaring her off and embarrassing myself, or just not mention it at all and hope she doesn’t notice if/when we finally get down to bidness? I’m worried that If/when it happens I won’t know WTF, and if she doesn’t know about my total lack of experience she’ll just chalk it up to me being epic fail at the sex…whereas if she DID know i had no sex0r skill-ups yet, she would be more forgiving if I totally sucked at it the first time….but that assumes that she isn’t weirded out by it all and scared off to begin with, being almost 30 and still a virgin and all (which is embarassing enough as it is!). Anyway what should I do halp

LOVE: ANONYMOUS SHACKER

I talked this over with my favorite confidante and we ended up on a completely awful tangent about how sex is a lose-lose situation because if you sleep with too many people you lose and if you sleep with too few people you lose and how women should come with manuals saying “You should sleep with 3.2 people prior to me” but that’s kind of the same thing as all jobs requiring previous job related experience but how can you get experience if all jobs require it. Yeah it was a ridiculous conversation, but I think we both came to the same conclusion.

If you have sex with her and don’t tell her but tell her afterwards, you’re really just starting off this possible relationship on an awful foot. She knows that you are capable of withholding the truth from her. And if she’s anything like me, she might get upset that you didn’t tell her that she was going to be your first. And it’s pretty much saying to her that you were honest because you didn’t want to feel guilty about it, but that you were using her so that you didn’t have to say this to other girls in the future. On the other hand, she might be easygoing enough to let it by… hey, she might laugh it off and be surprised! But that’s really a chance you’d have to weigh out in your head.

If you don’t tell her at all and you end up in a relationship with her, she might in the future ask how many girls you’ve been with. If you tell her the truth, that she was your first, imagine all of those previous consequences times about a billion. If you lie, that is what you are basing your relationship on, and I don’t know how many times I can say not to do that.

If you tell her off the bat, there are a couple of different ways it could go. I personally support this option, as does Shacker SolrFlare.

Three reasons: 1) if you are bad, then at least she knows it’s due to lack of experience. 2) If the girl really likes you, she’ll probably try to make it a first time you’ll never forget. 3) If it turns the girl off from you completely, then it’s probably not a relationship you would want to continue anyway.

That’s pretty much it. Option number 3 sounds pretty awful, but honestly, you’ve waited almost 30 years at this point. What is a little while longer, if it means you don’t have the memory of your first tied to a bitch?

You sound like you have your head pretty well on your shoulders. If it doesn’t happen with this girl, it’ll happen eventually. Just get yourself out there, meet a lot of people, and increase your odds! And if you’re really worried about performance, just relax and pay attention to her, it’s not too hard to figure out when she likes something (but that is a completely separate article).

Keep the e-mails coming, guys!

helpmewithmygirlproblems@laurgasms.com

Happy Democrat Day

My first post is in honor of a happy day for the democratic party.

“Why do white girls love to give head so much more than black ones?” – mr.sleepy

I call it Hillary Clinton syndrome. An ambitious and stubborn white woman just cannot give up against a black powerhouse.

But in all seriousness, there are a lot of social stereotypes when it comes to interracial relationships. Social stereotypes lead to people thinking that they are or aren’t supposed to act a certain way. Women are supposed to only have sex in monogamous situations but it’s okay for men not to, so a lot of women stop having promiscuous sex just because it’s their perceived social norm. Black women are rumored to not like giving head, by both black and non-black culture, so some may develop their sexual personalities around that, either because they’ve decided that there is something wrong with it or for other reasons.

“Lamarr, 30, an attorney in L.A., insists there are sexual benefits to interracial dating: ‘White women are much more accommodating. There’s a saying, What a Black woman won’t do for you, a White woman will.’ He says he recently had one sister tell him, ‘Look, I’m Black. I’m not going to be giving head like the White girls do.’” Essence, 2006.

I should also throw in here that you’ve gotten lucky with some of those white women who enjoy giving head because that is not necessarily the norm there either!

If it’s really something that bothers you, talk to her about it and try to find out what her issues REALLY are.

It could be a confidence issue on her part, buying into the stereotype and feeling like she wouldn’t be able to please you orally. If it’s a hygiene hangup, a shower together before sexy times can lay that to rest, and makes for great foreplay. – Dan C.

If it’s something you’ve become used to but she refuses to compromise in the least, then it becomes a situation where you have to decide if that is a dealbreaker or not. Personally, I’d say that head is probably fantastic, but if she’s pleasing you otherwise, I doubt it’s something to give it all up over. Plus if she does it begrudgingly she might not pay attention and from what I’ve heard teeth are bad.

Or was that teeth are good? *chomp*

Sup.

Content coming soon!

…if you want it to be.

Please e-mail me with stuff.

helpmewithmygirlproblems@laurgasms.com